Love and Individuality

     All last month, I wanted to write about unrequited love versus unconditional love, reason being, it was February and everyone was posting blogs and stories about love. I have always loved unconditionally because if you have to put conditions on why you love a person than your relationship has no merit.  Love unconditionally, it means more.

     The biggest battle that I have had in a minute is the battle that I had with myself.  I have always had goals and aspirations that I wanted to accomplish and positions that I wanted to achieve, however, my progress became an issue when those I thought were trying to help me, were really trying to hurt and hinder me.  I think that is so petty and immature that, people are so afraid that you are going to get ahead of them, that they try any and everything to hold you down.  I have never been that person because I want everyone to know their strengths and weaknesses and to find their talents and work towards their potential.  Give life your best shot!

    In relationships, is it necessary to lose yourself and adapt the thoughts and rules of someone else? I think not.  No matter if you are in a relationship or not, you are still an individual; relationships do not mean that you have to control the other person's every move and that each time they move, you move.  I think those relationships are based on control and low self-esteem, as well as insecurities.  There is no cookie cutter way to be.  Each person is different and should be treated differently.  There is no need to "tell" a person, how they need to dress, where they can and cannot go, friends they can or cannot have; that makes no sense to me, that is a person who wants control. 

Take control of your life and give it your best!  While you are building a better you, I am definitely building a better me.

Geneise



    
      



    

    

The Choices We Make

     "The Choice is Yours", that's what his tattoo says! My perception of that tattoo has always been that no matter what you do in life, you make those choices and must be willing to accept any consequences that they bring, whether positive or negative.

     Just the other day, I read a bumper sticker that said, "Don't let your present choices, affect your future opportunities." I really had to think about that for a minute; with all the social media outlets (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn), only to name a few, we as social media participants should really be mindful of the information that we post and share with others.  Although, I am an active participant in several of the aforementioned social media sites, my settings are always set to private, so only the people that I have accepted as my friends are privy to the information that I post.  As parents, we also have a responsibility to monitor what our children are posting on those sites as well, because they are oblivious to the repercussions that they may suffer from a post that they posted and thought was just in "fun and games," months and even years after.

     The internet holds a wealth of information, much of which remains even after it has been deleted on the surface.  It's imperative that our youth realize that their post are being viewed by parents, police officers, teachers, pastors, potential schools for college applicants, and potential employers. The youth must realize that their online profiles, say a lot about them and they can either make them or break them simply by words and/or pictures that have been posted.  In years past, we would meet people face to face and determine what our first impression of them was but now, our first impression starts online. Many times, the person has met you online by conduct an online search of your identifying information before they have met you in person.  It is the online search and the information that is gathered that determines whether you will even get to meet in person.  So you have to be careful of what you put out there.

     Youth and grown-ups are having a hard time accepting that their online "public" profiles are influencing how people and potential employees view them.  It's about character and building a positive online reputation.  An online reputation is just as noticeable as a reputation in or around your school and community.  These online social sites were created initially for fun but through the years and the usage, they have morphed into a marketing, recruiting, promoting mecca.  Everybody uses it for some purpose; whether to keep in touch with friends, promote a business, meet your chosen college roommate, or just to see what people are doing on a daily basis.

     The internet can be used for fun but with the way of the world, we as a people should be using it to our advantage and creating positive images which builds our character and shows our integrity.  If each time a "third party" or company that is interested in hiring you, searches and sees your profile and it is filled with profanity, drugs, alcohol, and half-dressed men or women; it is safe to say they are going to question your character and rule, based on what your online presence says about you, that you are not a good fit or candidate for their job.

Always emulate a positive image on the World Wide Web because it lasts forever and you never really know who's watching!

Geneise

  

    

A New Year, A New You

     January 1st of each year, we as a people vow to get fit, get closer to and make time for our families and friends.  The goal is to better ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and financially.  The problem becomes when we say those changes but really do not do anything to ensure that those changes occur.  We do the same things over and over but expect different results.  That's never going to happen. 

     There is another problem that we encounter in our quest to better ourselves.  Often we make the changes, put in the hard work to ensure that we relieve ourselves of bad habits and equip ourselves with information that empowers us to do our very best and become the best person that it is possible to become; but in that transition, your efforts go unnoticed and it feels as if your work has been done in vain. 

     All people have their own agenda in life, let's be clear on that but how is it that a person gives their all in a relationship and then they are the ones mistreated and cheated on?  How is it that a person strives to be the best at a job but they are passed for the promotion?  These are the things that push people back into old habits and old rituals which go against the very resolutions that are being made at the beginning of the year.  Why try to be something or someone different if it goes unnoticed?

     The answer to that question should be very simple but yet it is not.  Strive to be a better person because that's the person that you would like to become.  You have to be happy with yourself before anyone can be happy for you.  It is my opinion that the acceptance of your changes by someone else should not be the determining factors of your change.  Change , do it for yourself and not for anyone else whether it is noticed or not.  I am a firm believer that all things in life have a cycle.  All though, you may not think things are changing or working out the way that you think they should, they are really working out the way that they should. 

    Use every opportunity, every obstacle, every closed door as a learning experience.  Sometimes, the doors do not open because either you aren't ready or that's just not the right door for you!  That does not mean you have to stop working on you...no matter if the year is changing or if you are changing, continue to Build a Better You and I will continue to Build a Better Me!

Happy New Year, 2014!

The Reason for the Season

     Christmas has always been a special time of the year.  The reason for the season varies depending upon whose house you are in.  In our house, the reason for the season has always been the "gift of life; Christmas represents the day that Jesus was born.  There were Christmas carols that everybody knew and my kids can't get one right. 

     When we were driving home, the lack of Christmas decorations sparked a conversation between Adrian and I.  In 2013, what is the meaning of Christmas?  Once thing that we agreed upon was that the celebration of Christmas has become so commercial and seems to be viewed as just another holiday to go shopping.  Now our children are either texting on their smart phones, listening to music on their ipods through their Beats by Dre, surfing the world wide web on their tablets and laptops, or gaming on their Xbox or PS4.  Where are the children riding Big Wheels, Green Machines, Bikes?  I am ashamed to say that two years ago, I bought my children bikes for Christmas and they have yet to learn/really ride them but I redeemed myself this year by buying electronic scooters!  :-)

     After yesterday, I made a conscious decision that next Christmas, we will have decorations galore, a lot of caroling, reciting the story of baby Jesus and all day outside play!  Let's bring back "traditional" celebrations and the Christmas decorations!

I hope each and everyone of you had a Merry Christmas!

Geneise

Thanks for Family

      Today, I think it is only fitting that my blog focuses on family.  November is the month of giving thanks and I would like to thank my family; without them, there would be no me! Often more times than not, when one thinks about family, they think about blood relatives.  When I think about family, I think about people who have come into my life and have made a difference.  I regard them as family because they cared enough about me to try and steer me in the right directions.
    
     My family is from rural Georgetown, Georgia and it is one of the poorest counties in Georgia.  I am not ashamed to say that I am one generation from an outhouse and I say this because my family has had to struggle and sacrifice on many occasions to get the things that they needed.  It hasn't been easy but I am glad to say that my family has battled and conquered the majority of the obstacles that were placed before them. My family is built on persistence, perseverance, and determination!

     One obstacle that my mother, Carrie, had to face and endure was integration.  My mother was the first Black to graduate from Georgetown High School.  For 3 years she endured the name calling but it did not deter her from her goal of graduating.  I applaud my mom because is my strength.  The fight that she possesses has been passed down to me and I am thankful for that.

     Family means the most to me!  I am thankful for everyone that is from the union of Ephraim Griggs and Lizzie Shepard!  My great-grandfather fathered 29 children by his two wives and had 2 other children, making the total 31! 
    
     Take this Thanksgiving and reflect on your family, find out the history of your family, talk about the struggles that they faced and how they overcame.  It is important to know where you came from so that you better plan where you are going!  Be proud of yourself and your family.

Geneise

My Place and My Mission

     The Purpose Driven Life written by Rick Warren, it a great place to begin in determining what you were placed here on earth to do.  I am a firm believer that each person has their own talent and mission in life.  Currently, I am struggling with finding my place and my mission.  Although, that should be the last thing that I am doing because I put my ideas on paper 4 years ago. 

     I am originally from a small rural town in Georgia and my vision has always been to give back to the community from which I came.  I want to reach back and assist as many people as I possibly can in reaching their goals or just connecting them with resources and information that will make their lives easier.  I want to help our youth create and execute a successful plan for their futures.

     For a number of years, I have had a vision to bring my family and friends together to create a business that we can build from the ground up.  Each one of us are at a point in our lives where we would like to venture out and try something new.  We have different skills, interests, and abilities.  Why not think outside the box? 

     Today, my co-worker, told me that if my vision is one that is near and dear to my heart and if God keeps bringing it to the forefront, then it is time that I take that vision, create a plan, and put it into action.  The following poem is one of my favorites and will be the catalyst to my family's success.

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost 1874–1963 Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Making Each Day Count

     It has been five weeks since my last post and I hope you have missed me as much as I have missed you!  During that time, I have had the opportunity to really sit down and give some additional thought to this blog and my writing process.  Usually, I sit down and just write about what comes to mind but now, I would like a more structured approach, therefore, this post is going to be about each of you making each day count. 

     When you hear the words "making my bucket list" what comes to mind?  For me it is a vision of things that I want to do, places I want to visit, and people that I would like to see.  It is all about experiences.  The bucket list itself is a plan; it is a starting to point.  Once you have create the list, then you can start organizing it to reflect which things are a priority and the time frame that you need to have it completed and the budget.  Now it is time to set goals and deadlines and if possible go ahead save the date and pay for anything that you can in advance.  This eases the stress and creates an enjoyable trip or experience. 

     Planning and preparing are essential to all walks of life.  In order to be successful in anything that you do, you must first have an idea, which becomes a vision which manifests into a plan, and then it is put into action.  Many times, we have ideas and we do not act upon them.  We allow ourselves to become complacent with where we are in life. I say embark upon a new adventure, take risks, and enjoy life.  You only live once!  Even if I can't do some new every month, I plan on doing something new and different at least once a month.  There is nothing wrong with that.

     I think it is important that parents encourage their children to be creative and not be afraid of sharing their ideas and creating visions.  So often parents assume when children reach a certain age that they do not have to be encouraged but the reality of it is that children need to be empowered. I want to empower my children to have the intestinal fortitude to put their ideas into motion and to embark on new journeys and new experiences.

Take the time and make each day count!