Expectations

"Be What You Expect of Yourself, Not What Others Expect of You!" ~Kushandwizdom

 

     Today I promise to be better than I was yesterday!  I am so passionate about personal growth, which is why I haven't been blogging; I have been growing! I have been experiencing growth in all facets of my life: mentally, spiritually, socially, physically, financially, and academically.  I am finally becoming the person that I have always dreamed of being.  The only thing missing now is my desire and determination to give back to my community in rural Georgia. 

 

    The struggle is real when you are working so hard to get to one place but it seems as if the closer you get the further away it becomes.  Is that enough to cause you to give up?  It shouldn't be.  No matter how far it seems, plan on pushing forward because each step that you take gets you one step closer to your destination.  No one ever said that it was going to be easy. There are obstacles and setbacks that some people must endure and this may cause the plan to alter.  When this happens, it's time to learn the lesson and use it to change your perspective and your paradigm.  You are or should be in control of your own life and your own destiny. 

 

     It's true that people have expectations of you.  It only becomes a conflict when you do not live up to the expectations of others.  Have you defined your expectations for yourself?  What is your vision of your life and where you would like to be in five or ten years?  It is a great idea to write down your plans and periodically review, re-evaluate, and rewrite what you want to do and/or plan on doing! 

 

     I equate my life's plan with a map.  When traveling we use a map or gps to get where we are going, why not do the same with your life?  Create a map of your life leading you to success and fulfilling your own expectations!

 

 

Continue building because our working together is building a better you and me!

 

Geneise 



Knowing The Right Relationship

     When do you know the right relationship? If a relationship is not built on a strong foundation then it is destined to fail. I think a strong foundation consists of communication, trust, and love. I want to know that when my mate is out of eye shot and earshot that I can trust that he acts as if I am standing right beside him. Not as a "watcher"...but as someone that he respects.

      A mate should be someone that shows you respect when you're there and when you are not there. Home should always come before someone in the streets. When that ceases to exist then you need to make your home somewhere else and if that is not an option, then it's time to work on the relationship and determine what's missing. 

     How can you be young, fly, and flashy in the streets when your bills are behind in the home? Guys and Gals,  what are your opinions and exactly what are you searching for in the streets...relationships, casual sex, or just a meaningful connection because you are missing something at home?

I just want to know.

 

Geneise

 

Love and Individuality

     All last month, I wanted to write about unrequited love versus unconditional love, reason being, it was February and everyone was posting blogs and stories about love. I have always loved unconditionally because if you have to put conditions on why you love a person than your relationship has no merit.  Love unconditionally, it means more.

     The biggest battle that I have had in a minute is the battle that I had with myself.  I have always had goals and aspirations that I wanted to accomplish and positions that I wanted to achieve, however, my progress became an issue when those I thought were trying to help me, were really trying to hurt and hinder me.  I think that is so petty and immature that, people are so afraid that you are going to get ahead of them, that they try any and everything to hold you down.  I have never been that person because I want everyone to know their strengths and weaknesses and to find their talents and work towards their potential.  Give life your best shot!

    In relationships, is it necessary to lose yourself and adapt the thoughts and rules of someone else? I think not.  No matter if you are in a relationship or not, you are still an individual; relationships do not mean that you have to control the other person's every move and that each time they move, you move.  I think those relationships are based on control and low self-esteem, as well as insecurities.  There is no cookie cutter way to be.  Each person is different and should be treated differently.  There is no need to "tell" a person, how they need to dress, where they can and cannot go, friends they can or cannot have; that makes no sense to me, that is a person who wants control. 

Take control of your life and give it your best!  While you are building a better you, I am definitely building a better me.

Geneise



    
      



    

    

The Choices We Make

     "The Choice is Yours", that's what his tattoo says! My perception of that tattoo has always been that no matter what you do in life, you make those choices and must be willing to accept any consequences that they bring, whether positive or negative.

     Just the other day, I read a bumper sticker that said, "Don't let your present choices, affect your future opportunities." I really had to think about that for a minute; with all the social media outlets (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn), only to name a few, we as social media participants should really be mindful of the information that we post and share with others.  Although, I am an active participant in several of the aforementioned social media sites, my settings are always set to private, so only the people that I have accepted as my friends are privy to the information that I post.  As parents, we also have a responsibility to monitor what our children are posting on those sites as well, because they are oblivious to the repercussions that they may suffer from a post that they posted and thought was just in "fun and games," months and even years after.

     The internet holds a wealth of information, much of which remains even after it has been deleted on the surface.  It's imperative that our youth realize that their post are being viewed by parents, police officers, teachers, pastors, potential schools for college applicants, and potential employers. The youth must realize that their online profiles, say a lot about them and they can either make them or break them simply by words and/or pictures that have been posted.  In years past, we would meet people face to face and determine what our first impression of them was but now, our first impression starts online. Many times, the person has met you online by conduct an online search of your identifying information before they have met you in person.  It is the online search and the information that is gathered that determines whether you will even get to meet in person.  So you have to be careful of what you put out there.

     Youth and grown-ups are having a hard time accepting that their online "public" profiles are influencing how people and potential employees view them.  It's about character and building a positive online reputation.  An online reputation is just as noticeable as a reputation in or around your school and community.  These online social sites were created initially for fun but through the years and the usage, they have morphed into a marketing, recruiting, promoting mecca.  Everybody uses it for some purpose; whether to keep in touch with friends, promote a business, meet your chosen college roommate, or just to see what people are doing on a daily basis.

     The internet can be used for fun but with the way of the world, we as a people should be using it to our advantage and creating positive images which builds our character and shows our integrity.  If each time a "third party" or company that is interested in hiring you, searches and sees your profile and it is filled with profanity, drugs, alcohol, and half-dressed men or women; it is safe to say they are going to question your character and rule, based on what your online presence says about you, that you are not a good fit or candidate for their job.

Always emulate a positive image on the World Wide Web because it lasts forever and you never really know who's watching!

Geneise

  

    

A New Year, A New You

     January 1st of each year, we as a people vow to get fit, get closer to and make time for our families and friends.  The goal is to better ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and financially.  The problem becomes when we say those changes but really do not do anything to ensure that those changes occur.  We do the same things over and over but expect different results.  That's never going to happen. 

     There is another problem that we encounter in our quest to better ourselves.  Often we make the changes, put in the hard work to ensure that we relieve ourselves of bad habits and equip ourselves with information that empowers us to do our very best and become the best person that it is possible to become; but in that transition, your efforts go unnoticed and it feels as if your work has been done in vain. 

     All people have their own agenda in life, let's be clear on that but how is it that a person gives their all in a relationship and then they are the ones mistreated and cheated on?  How is it that a person strives to be the best at a job but they are passed for the promotion?  These are the things that push people back into old habits and old rituals which go against the very resolutions that are being made at the beginning of the year.  Why try to be something or someone different if it goes unnoticed?

     The answer to that question should be very simple but yet it is not.  Strive to be a better person because that's the person that you would like to become.  You have to be happy with yourself before anyone can be happy for you.  It is my opinion that the acceptance of your changes by someone else should not be the determining factors of your change.  Change , do it for yourself and not for anyone else whether it is noticed or not.  I am a firm believer that all things in life have a cycle.  All though, you may not think things are changing or working out the way that you think they should, they are really working out the way that they should. 

    Use every opportunity, every obstacle, every closed door as a learning experience.  Sometimes, the doors do not open because either you aren't ready or that's just not the right door for you!  That does not mean you have to stop working on you...no matter if the year is changing or if you are changing, continue to Build a Better You and I will continue to Build a Better Me!

Happy New Year, 2014!

The Reason for the Season

     Christmas has always been a special time of the year.  The reason for the season varies depending upon whose house you are in.  In our house, the reason for the season has always been the "gift of life; Christmas represents the day that Jesus was born.  There were Christmas carols that everybody knew and my kids can't get one right. 

     When we were driving home, the lack of Christmas decorations sparked a conversation between Adrian and I.  In 2013, what is the meaning of Christmas?  Once thing that we agreed upon was that the celebration of Christmas has become so commercial and seems to be viewed as just another holiday to go shopping.  Now our children are either texting on their smart phones, listening to music on their ipods through their Beats by Dre, surfing the world wide web on their tablets and laptops, or gaming on their Xbox or PS4.  Where are the children riding Big Wheels, Green Machines, Bikes?  I am ashamed to say that two years ago, I bought my children bikes for Christmas and they have yet to learn/really ride them but I redeemed myself this year by buying electronic scooters!  :-)

     After yesterday, I made a conscious decision that next Christmas, we will have decorations galore, a lot of caroling, reciting the story of baby Jesus and all day outside play!  Let's bring back "traditional" celebrations and the Christmas decorations!

I hope each and everyone of you had a Merry Christmas!

Geneise

Thanks for Family

      Today, I think it is only fitting that my blog focuses on family.  November is the month of giving thanks and I would like to thank my family; without them, there would be no me! Often more times than not, when one thinks about family, they think about blood relatives.  When I think about family, I think about people who have come into my life and have made a difference.  I regard them as family because they cared enough about me to try and steer me in the right directions.
    
     My family is from rural Georgetown, Georgia and it is one of the poorest counties in Georgia.  I am not ashamed to say that I am one generation from an outhouse and I say this because my family has had to struggle and sacrifice on many occasions to get the things that they needed.  It hasn't been easy but I am glad to say that my family has battled and conquered the majority of the obstacles that were placed before them. My family is built on persistence, perseverance, and determination!

     One obstacle that my mother, Carrie, had to face and endure was integration.  My mother was the first Black to graduate from Georgetown High School.  For 3 years she endured the name calling but it did not deter her from her goal of graduating.  I applaud my mom because is my strength.  The fight that she possesses has been passed down to me and I am thankful for that.

     Family means the most to me!  I am thankful for everyone that is from the union of Ephraim Griggs and Lizzie Shepard!  My great-grandfather fathered 29 children by his two wives and had 2 other children, making the total 31! 
    
     Take this Thanksgiving and reflect on your family, find out the history of your family, talk about the struggles that they faced and how they overcame.  It is important to know where you came from so that you better plan where you are going!  Be proud of yourself and your family.

Geneise

My Place and My Mission

     The Purpose Driven Life written by Rick Warren, it a great place to begin in determining what you were placed here on earth to do.  I am a firm believer that each person has their own talent and mission in life.  Currently, I am struggling with finding my place and my mission.  Although, that should be the last thing that I am doing because I put my ideas on paper 4 years ago. 

     I am originally from a small rural town in Georgia and my vision has always been to give back to the community from which I came.  I want to reach back and assist as many people as I possibly can in reaching their goals or just connecting them with resources and information that will make their lives easier.  I want to help our youth create and execute a successful plan for their futures.

     For a number of years, I have had a vision to bring my family and friends together to create a business that we can build from the ground up.  Each one of us are at a point in our lives where we would like to venture out and try something new.  We have different skills, interests, and abilities.  Why not think outside the box? 

     Today, my co-worker, told me that if my vision is one that is near and dear to my heart and if God keeps bringing it to the forefront, then it is time that I take that vision, create a plan, and put it into action.  The following poem is one of my favorites and will be the catalyst to my family's success.

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost 1874–1963 Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Making Each Day Count

     It has been five weeks since my last post and I hope you have missed me as much as I have missed you!  During that time, I have had the opportunity to really sit down and give some additional thought to this blog and my writing process.  Usually, I sit down and just write about what comes to mind but now, I would like a more structured approach, therefore, this post is going to be about each of you making each day count. 

     When you hear the words "making my bucket list" what comes to mind?  For me it is a vision of things that I want to do, places I want to visit, and people that I would like to see.  It is all about experiences.  The bucket list itself is a plan; it is a starting to point.  Once you have create the list, then you can start organizing it to reflect which things are a priority and the time frame that you need to have it completed and the budget.  Now it is time to set goals and deadlines and if possible go ahead save the date and pay for anything that you can in advance.  This eases the stress and creates an enjoyable trip or experience. 

     Planning and preparing are essential to all walks of life.  In order to be successful in anything that you do, you must first have an idea, which becomes a vision which manifests into a plan, and then it is put into action.  Many times, we have ideas and we do not act upon them.  We allow ourselves to become complacent with where we are in life. I say embark upon a new adventure, take risks, and enjoy life.  You only live once!  Even if I can't do some new every month, I plan on doing something new and different at least once a month.  There is nothing wrong with that.

     I think it is important that parents encourage their children to be creative and not be afraid of sharing their ideas and creating visions.  So often parents assume when children reach a certain age that they do not have to be encouraged but the reality of it is that children need to be empowered. I want to empower my children to have the intestinal fortitude to put their ideas into motion and to embark on new journeys and new experiences.

Take the time and make each day count!

Relationships: Building Support Systems

     "Relationship is defined as the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected."
 
     Although, I live somewhat of a guarded life,  for reasons that I will discuss in a later blog, I value my relationships.  I only allow certain people in my circle, because I am a firm believer that your friends should encourage you, just as you should encourage them to do better and be better.  I will give my last to help a person that is truly in need and is striving to do better.  Honestly, my friends think of me as the resource capital in the circle, because if there is a program, a fund, a link, that will help them in a search for something, if I don't know it, give me about five minutes and I will have the answer for them. You need a support system amongst your friends!
    
     There have been a couple of instances where I really and truly thought, that a person that I had allowed in my circle was being genuine and a friend, but instead, I found out that this person was conniving, manipulative, and jealous hearted.  I could not understand why, because I would help this person in any way that I could.  After thinking about the situation over and over again, it dawned on me that the jealousy sparked from me just being me.  I established some relationships that she could not all because of my approachable personality.  To me there is no reason to shut people out in a work environment.  These are people that you have to work with day in and day out, therefore, it should be as cohesive as it can be.  In a work environment, I study the people around me and I find something that would put me on common ground with that person before I approach them, sort of like a peace offering.  This makes it easier to communicate with them and essentially, it shows that I pay attention to detail and I listen.  You need a support system at work so build positive relationships!

     Relationships with your family are very important.  I love family! I wear my family on my sleeves.  No matter if I saw you 20 minutes ago or 20 years ago, my seeing you today would be as if I just saw you.  I think people need family as a definite support system.  They may get mad at you from time to time but at the end of the day, if you really need it, usually your family will help you.  So often, we (myself included) are so private and consumed with pride that in times of need, we do not reach out to our families because we want to pretend that we have it together.  You always need a support system! For years, I have been trying to come up with a way to create a "family committee".  The thought is there, I just need to put it in perspective and in action.  You definitely need a support system in your family!

     No matter what it is that happens in your life, at your job, or even in your family; you should always have a support system that you can turn to.  Sometimes, hearing yourself discuss your problems with someone else, allows you to really dissect what it is that your are battling at the time.  You can then put it in perspective, think about it, and develop your own resolutions for it!

Again, if I help you and you help me, then you are Building a Better Me! 

Be Supportive!

Geneise

Personal Reinvention

     Recently, I wrote about professional reinvention.  After, really taking a look at the idea of reinventing oneself, it occurred to me that each year we reinvent ourselves or least we try to!  On January 1st we all vow to eat less and workout more.  For me that usually lasts a week and then I am back to my old ways.  We also reinvent ourselves around our birthdays, we are determined that what we did last year will not be the same thing that we will engage in this year.  The idea is anything can change as long as you are willing to change the way your mindset and look at situations and circumstances from a different prospective!

     I am a firm believer that when you know better, you should do better.  I saw this bumper sticker on a car a couple of years ago and it read: "Live the life you love." That statement stuck with me because at that time, I was living life but it wasn't the life that I loved.  That statement alone made me stop and re-evaluate my life.  The realization that I was not living the life I love was enough to force me to change my life.  I became a parent and was so focused on my children that I literally began to forget about ME! I had to reinvent Geneise!

     As a parent, it is important to ensure that yes, you are providing for your children but you also have to provide for yourself.  I'm not talking about food, clothing, shelter; I'm talking about time with friends, minus the children; cuddling up with a good book, minus the children; a nice glass of wine, minus the children, etc.  It is a must for each parent and notice I said each parent, father and mother.

     Reinvention is fun and exciting!  It gives you the look and feel of being a new person!  The slightest transformation will make a difference, think about hair and eye colors. The minute that changes, some people look totally different but does it matter if their character is in question.  You have to change your mindset in order for it to matter, because you will get such a clear view from the right perspective.

If there is something that you want to do, reinvent yourself and make it happen!

Geneise

#Remembering911

My Introduction

I guess it is time for me to introduce myself...

    My name is Geneise M. Graham.  I am the mother of two, Adriyana (8) and Ashton (5).  They are the world to me!  I recently graduated from Troy University with a Master in Public Administration with a concentration in Public Management.  That accomplishment is special to me because my mother, Carrie also graduated from Troy University with a Master of Science in Counseling.  Go Trojans!  I am currently attending Capella University, working on my Doctor of Public Administration (DPA).

   I started writing this blog about a week ago with no real direction.  At first, I was a little skeptical about the content that I would focus on, but for some time now, I have been concerned about the state of our youth and our communities and wondered what I could do to help.  For the past 10 years, I have wrestled with a concept of "Building A Better Me." My thought is that no matter what happens, when you take the time to help someone else, you are ultimately helping yourself become a better person.  I try to learn something from everyone I meet; whether it is good or bad!

What I hope to accomplish with this blog? 

     This is a question that I am still struggling to answer.  I would like to use it as a platform for character building and enrichment, as well as, a source of information on different subjects.  I hope that each blog that I post assists someone in some manner, even if it is just a conversation around the dinner table. 

One of my favorite quotes is:

"A Journey of A Thousand Miles, Must Begin With A Single Step!"~Lao Tzu

     That quotes means a lot to me because no matter what you do, you have to take that first step and this blog is my first step to helping others because in doing so, I am "BUILDING A BETTER ME!"

Geneise
 

Reinventing and Rebranding

On my last post, I ended with a question, "How do I reinvent myself?"  I was unaware of this concept until my friend introduced me to 9 Things a Leader Must Do by Dr. Henry Cloud.  In one of the chapters it speaks about change and how necessary and important it is to change according to the goals or aspirations that have been set for your life and your employment.

In order to reinvent something, it must be changed so that it appears to be entirely new.  This coincides with the concept of rebranding as well, which is known as a marketing strategy to completely change a product so that in the minds of the consumers it is new and different.  I thought that reinventing and rebranding was specific to products or things.  After researching each, I have found that those concepts can be applied to people.

In each job that I have previously held, I have been an employee.  Now that I am a job-seeker, with a Master of Public Administration in Public Management, I am having to reinvent myself, not as an employee but as a leader.  At times its difficult because the knowledge is there, the job experience is there as well, but what is lacking is the supervisory experience and without that experience most companies are not willing to take a chance on you. 

In most jobs, there is some form of unconventional supervision, although your job title does not reflect a supervisory role and it is not a role that is performed on a regular basis, it is one that is performed.  Most of the time, we see this basic supervision with new hires.  Yes, they go through orientation and sometimes job specific training outside of the agency, but once they return to the agency, the new hires are paired with a seasoned person that ultimately trains and supervises them for a certain amount of time.  Can this be classified as supervision?  I think so!

Employees that have been assigned special projects have to create a team or collaborate with multiple people in order to plan, develop, design, implement, and administer the project, have in my opinion taking on a leadership role and are responsible for the supervision of that project. Again, I think unconventional supervision

Through this journey, I am continuously finding ways to reinvent and rebrand my skills and abilities in hopes that I will be viewed as a new and improved person with the necessary core competencies for the demanding job market. 

I hope you have been inspired to take a look at yourself and reinvent and rebrand!

Geneise

Interviewing

Having been pushed back into the job-seeking market, I have been forced to re-evaluate my skills and abilities.  Although, I thought it would be easy, it has turned out to be much easier said than done. Interview questions are so position specific that skill sets are lost in translation.  I have found it to be very difficult to explain my skill sets.

I am a person that enters an organization and not only do I learn my position and my responsibilities, I also take the initiative to learn the responsibilities and duties of the other positions that I have to interact with on a regular basis.  I like to see the big picture know exactly where I fit in and how what I do affects the operation of the organization.

Often in the interview, the question is whether or not, I have actually performed in that position? The answer is no, but I know the policy and procedures that structure that part of the position because I was willing to learn what others were doing in order to have a complete puzzle.

How do I reinvent myself?

Geneise